Bullied. Literally.

Bullies have been a part of Cameron’s life pretty much since he started school. He’s been teased for everything from being in special education (even when he wasn’t), to reading on the bus, to dying his hair red for swimming (which all the boys did). He’s been called awful names and has dealt with awful things. Having Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD) means that sometimes he may not even realize he’s being bullied. Alternatively, sometimes Cameron isn’t actually being bullied, but he thinks he is.

The most funny bullying situation we’ve had, though– and yes, I did say funny– was when very-literal Cameron took our parental advice so literally, he crossed all social norms with his bully.

I’m sure many parents take a similar approach to bullying that we do. We teach our kids how to talk to bullies. We teach them to try to take away the power of the bully by ignoring or by telling them not to let the bully know they may be bothering them. We teach them to be kind and compassionate with their bullies. We teach them to be confident.

We’ve also explained that many times bullies come from homes where they struggle. They may feel out of control at home, so they try to create control at school by treating others like they’re treated. While it isn’t right, it is easier to ignore a bully when we realize they’re not targeting us because we are who we are, but because they are struggling too.

Last year, Cameron had a very relentless bully who would not leave him alone. He was even becoming physical with pushing Cameron, always when he knew the school cameras couldn’t catch him. Cameron did not want me to contact the school no matter how many times I asked, because the bully, in true bully form, said “snitches get stitches.” It would be worse if he knew Cameron told. When Cameron came to me for advice, I started with, “Well, he probably comes from a rough home. He may have parents who treat him poorly or something.”

Cameron replied, “No, Mom! He’s had a perfectly fine childhood!”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“Because I asked him.”

Pause.

“Ah what? You asked him?”

Yeah… It went something like this:

“Bully (not actual name), are your parents divorced?”

“No.”

“Are they alcoholics?”

“No.”

“Did your mom do drugs?”

“No.”

“Do your parents beat you?”

“No.

I laughed so hard. I mean, the kid is brave, right? There is something to be said for being open and honest and just saying what we mean. If you’ve read other posts here, you may have noticed that I’m pretty blunt to the point of making many people uncomfortable, so couple that genetic makeup with NLD and you have Cameron’s very literal “Interview With My Bully.”.

In the end, Cameron had to aggressively stand up and tell the bully to leave him alone. He did not have to get physical, but him simply looking like he would was enough to stop the bully for a bit.

I wish I could say that as a high school student, the bullying has stopped, but it has not. As recently as yesterday Cameron was dealing with another kid who has been on his case for years. It seems to be getting worse. I’m not sure that he’ll turn to interviewing the kid about his home life, but it’s always a possibility!

 

Featured Photo by Alex on Unsplash

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